Do you struggle to say how you feel? Worried about how you will come across and be perceived by others? Or do you refrain from saying how you feel because you are mindful of the people around you?
How can you remain authentic yet speak your mind?
Let go of worrying about what other people think and become more mindful, then
"....say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
- Dr Seuss
Being mindful will help you get to better know when to mind what you say and when to say what you feel.
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]]>You keep putting it off, that one thing you don't want to do.
Why are you avoiding it? Can't do it or won't do it? What's your reason?
Ask yourself these questions:
What if I don't do it? What then?
How will I feel when I do it? Great? Relieved? Happy?
Can someone help me?
Sometimes, when we're stressed about a situation, we easily get overwhelmed. At those times, it's okay to reach out and ask for help and people are usually willing to lend it. Just think about the consequences of not doing it. Will it have an impact in the coming days, weeks and months - years even?
Whatever you've been avoiding, check in with yourself why, and then take some action to put it right this week.
You got this!
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]]>Remember the times you experienced a spectrum of negative emotions? They range from mild annoyance to resentment to anger to extreme desperation. Then you tried to ignore those feelings and run away from them.
Well, Daniel Rees Morgan, The Fulfilment Coach said, it's like a postman who keeps delivering messages to you. He keeps putting it in your mailbox day after day. If you don't do a regular check to see what these messages are, there comes D-day where your mailbox is close to bursting. Similarly, those emotions will keep piling up inside of you until one day, you snap out of control.
How do you handle negative emotion?
Well, for starters, there is no such thing as a negative emotion. On my recent Facebook Live conversation with Daniel Morgan, The Fulfillment Coach, he says to STOP thinking on those terms. He says every emotion has a message for you and is positive at the right time. Every emotion is there to help you. And when you’re experiencing an emotion that you’re not comfortable with, it has a message for you.
You have to accept that message and say, "Okay, let’s just feel that emotion.
Let’s see what this message has for me. Just allow it to be in your body." And ask yourself, what’s the message here? What do I need to learn? If you take on board that message and you accept it, the emotion will last for maybe a few minutes and will pass in its own time.
But on the other hand, if you’re not accepting the message or not learning from it, that postman will keep putting that message in your mailbox until it is filled to the brim.
So don’t deny it.
Allow it to be.
Feel the emotion.
Learn and grow from it.
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In our physical scenario, conflict is a little easier to manage. We can take a deep breath, connect with the other person, smile, touch in an appropriate manner, make assurance and bring some laughter into the debate. But conflicts online are far trickier to handle.
It seems that once people get behind their screens and keyboards, their emotions let rip and their sensitivity towards other's feelings fly out of the window.
In those circumstances, you can do one of these three things:
Either way, having great discussions and debates is what makes life so interesting, just make sure that you don't let emotions run high.
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]]>You may or may not have been caught up in the World Cup fever, but this is one an article you must read!
'How the psychology of the England football team could change your life'
Here are a few of my key takeouts:
Pippa Grange, the team psychologist 'is a fan of inspirational quotes, from Oscar Wilde to Nelson Mandela to Michael Jordan; some adorn the training gym walls (“Success isn’t given, it’s earned,” reads one). She is also said to encourage the players to get off their phones and play games with each other – including one in the hotel pool with inflatable unicorns after the win against Tunisia in the group stages;'
'The sports performance consultant Andy Barton says: “Often, it’s the spin you put on things.” Emotions can be reframed – as with Alli saying that he was excited rather than nervous.'
'Simply thinking positive isn’t helpful, says Barton.
“If the team just imagined themselves lifting the World Cup, that’s positive thinking but it doesn’t serve any real purpose.”
'Instead, he says, we should visualise what we need to do to perform, rather than the fantasy result.
“The skill is in your application to a task because that’s the bit you’re in control of. Say you have a big presentation to do, or a big event, or job interview – if you’re feeling fear you’re already mentally rehearsing it in a negative way. [In mental rehearsal] you prime your brain to play it how you would like to be. You might want to be confident, speak clearly. It’s not just positive thinking.”
Implement one of these tips today and change your life!
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]]>"Seek first to understand and then be understood."
- Stephen Covey
You know that feeling when you get a great idea, of a plan, a product, or a thing you just can't wait to bring to the marketplace and share with others? You know, the one that everyone will just LOVE? You get so excited about it, you can hardly contain yourself. That's good, I hear you say, isn't it?
Well, yes, and no!
Why I hear you cry? Surely enthusiasm is the greatest thing we can have for both our personal and business lives. And it is but if your customer, client, patient, loved one, child or spouse isn't listening then whatever you say, enthusiastically or not, will end up falling on deaf ears.
What you say is perceived differently by every single person you say it to. Put it this way, your message may not always be received the same way by every individual and probably not be in the way you intended it to.
To help you tailor your message drive your point home, take heart from Stephen Covey's words and seek first to understand. Find out what your customer, client or spouse WANTS to hear and tailor your message around that.
Don't try to sell your idea to anyone, enthuse about its benefits to them and watch them flock around you.
Having a tribe of loyal followers, be it friends, family or colleagues is all about perception.
How will you tailor your words this week to make the maximum impact?
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]]>“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you can imagine.”
-Roy T. Bennett
What are you putting off or saying 'no' to because you don't think you can do it?
Are people always telling you that you're so talented, or amazing or organised or capable, and you just brush it off and say, 'oh, it's nothing, it's just the way I am'?
Start celebrating yourself; believe in yourself because you are truly more talented, capable and resilient than you think and you can be anything and anyone that you can imagine.
You just need to believe in the power of YOU.
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]]>Are you speeding and rushing all day long? Keep going and before you know it you're burned out.
Life has a way of gaining momentum very quickly and before you know it you're on fast speed.
Try doing things that will slow down your speed. Give yourself extra time to get ready in the morning to enjoy your breakfast or read a couple of pages from a book.
During the day take your cup of coffee/tea away from your desk and sit outside for a few minutes.
When things are going fast and full steam, slow your thoughts.
Mindfully practice going slow this week.
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Are you feeling creatively stuck and blocked?
Have you tried creative limitation?
When you limit yourself, you are forced to think outside the box and will, therefore, come up with creative solutions.
So try setting some healthy limitations on yourself this week, limit the number or selection of words or the colours you can use. How about limiting the tools or devices you can use?
Experiment and play with different restrictions and see how it can boost and ignite your creativity.
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Why me?
Why can't I get it right?
What's wrong with me?
When you hit a snag in life, what questions do you ask yourself?
Why me?
Why can't I get it right?
What's wrong with me?
Most likely your brain will find answers like, because... you're lazy, not good enough, too old, too young, not confident, not loved, etc...
Ok now, let's flip this. Say you hit the same snag, try asking yourself these empowering questions that were shared on the MYnd Map Private Facebook Group instead?
What can you do?
What else can you do?
What are my choices?
Which choice is best?
What needs to change?
Do I want to change?
How can I change?
What can I change?
Who can I talk to about this?
And my favourite is:
Who can I ask for help?
Go ahead start asking empowering questions and see what answers your brain will come up with.
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"Worrying is like rocking a chair. It gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere."
- Glenn Turner
Worrying gets you busy, but it does not make you productive. What it does is waste your time, effort and energy on something that will not help you in the long-run. It distracts you from doing what is important, from making the right decision and prevents you from getting results.
Instead of worrying, focus your attention on the things that you have control over—these are the things that YOU can change.
Worried about how other people may be delaying the project? Do not focus on what others are doing—focus on what you can do to help the situation.
Who can you help?
What else can you do or contribute?
Worrying about what other people are not doing will not get things done—but if you focus on what you can do, then you have a better chance of delivering results.
Re-focus your attention on the things that you can change and get productive.
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'You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with'
-Jim Rohn
Leading psychologists, neuroscientists, and philosophers have confirmed that you are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with. These people will make you feel loved, affect your self-esteem, and lead to personal growth and discovery.
If you work with people who only complain about what goes wrong, you probably will also look at life in a negative way.
On the other end of the spectrum, if most of your friends are into fitness, they probably eat well, have lots of energy and a positive outlook on life. You, therefore, most likely will also be health focused or at least aware, are somewhat fit, and share positive conversations.
This idea applies to family, friends, co-workers and those you spend the most time with.
Here’s a quick exercise for you:
Write down the 5 people who you spend the most time with.
Next, write down your values, interests, and aspirations.
Lastly, determine whether or not those 5 people cover most of those values, interests, and aspirations.
If they do, then great! You are on the right path. If not, it's okay to have room to grow where you may need to create new relationships that will push you in the right direction.
Don't worry if you can't find the right people to build your average right away, this is not exclusive to just people. You can include the books you choose to read, listening to podcasts, following and learning from famous or successful people that share your values and inspire you. Before you know it, the right people will soon be drawn to you.
Don’t let anyone stand in your way. Surround yourself with the right people. You only have one life, so be the best person you can be, and choose your company wisely.
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Planning is essential to productivity and success. It is important to have daily plans, as it is paramount to have weekly, monthly, yearly and even long-term plans. With long-term goals, planning backward can help you stay focused on those goals daily.
]]>‘Planning is bringing the future into the present, so that you can do something about it now.’
-Alan Lakein
Planning is essential to productivity and success.
It is important to have daily plans, as it is paramount to have weekly, monthly, yearly and even long-term plans. With long-term goals, planning backward can help you stay focused on those goals daily.
By planning for the week, month and year ahead, it’s also less likely that things will catch you unawares, leaving you more energy to not only enjoy life but also to deal with the unexpected with as little stress as possible.
The first step to being more productive at planning is to create a routine. Set aside ten to fifteen minutes each day to write or mind map your plans.
Some find the best time to do this is in the morning so they’re motivated for the day ahead. Others will find it more useful to plan in the evening to reflect on the day and set goals for the next day and be ready for a fresh start.
It has been said that if faced with a challenging situation planning in the evening also allows your subconscious during sleep to start mapping out the best actions and solutions. You will wake up feeling level headed and clear about the best steps to take.
Let's get planning!
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I was recently asked this question about the MYnd Map MY Journal
'I bought this a few months ago, but I haven't started as yet, I find it so difficult to even start reading and understanding what I must do. Any suggestions, please? I know it's good for me but something is stopping me from starting.'
This question can easily apply to most things we know we should and must do that will bring great benefits to us, yet something is holding us back and we procrastinate.
There are many reasons we procrastinate, lack of confidence in our ability to accomplish the task at hand, fear of failure or even fear of success. It could be also fear and anxiety of the unknown when it comes to trying something new. Whatever the reason, procrastination is a behaviour and it can be changed. Changing a habit is simple — but not easy.
I procrastinated for months to buy a home printer, though I knew I needed it for my business and that I could afford it. But I just couldn't get myself to order one, even after choosing the best printer for my business needs.
My first tip is to understand the root of our procrastination. What is stopping you and why? Take a blank page (or your MYnd Map MY Journal) and write down all the possible answers to what's holding you back. Then ask again and keep writing. When you think you have exhausted all the reasons, ask again and keep writing. It doesn't matter if it takes a whole page or a whole book.
The answer will come to you and once you know why you have been avoiding doing whatever it is you need to do, you will be better equipped to solve the issue or change the thought that is holding you back.
Want to know what was holding me back from buying the printer?
Whilst writing a voice I hadn't heard before suddenly screamed at me 'Do you really think your business will be successful enough to warrant you buying a printer? Who are you kidding?'
Once I heard this, I burst out laughing, then said out loud ' WATCH ME!' and click 'order' on my printer
Here's my printer I have now had since the end of 2017. I could not operate this business smoothly without it.
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]]>If you don't know who Shonda Rhimes is or could care less about her...you MUST watch this
If you have a job you absolutely love but you don't enjoy anymore... you MUST watch this
If you're not making time for friends, family and yourself... you MUST watch this
If you don't understand the importance of playing... you MUST watch this
If fear is holding you back from doing things... you MUST watch this
If you're too busy and don't have 15mins... you MUST watch this
If you love or don't love your work... you MUST watch this
If you're a high achiever... you MUST watch this
If you can't be bothered... you MUST watch this
If you don't like playing... you MUST watch this
If you are a workaholic... you MUST watch this
If you always say no... you MUST watch this
Basically what I think am trying to say is... you MUST watch this! ;-)
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Leadership, by definition, means to lead a group of people toward a common goal.
This means having influence.
How do you influence? Start by understanding people better. Try learning about all different kinds of people from different backgrounds.
How do you learn about all different kinds of people from all different backgrounds? It’s simple: travel.
Traveling to a different continent, or even to a different country within the same continent, forces you to step out of your comfort zone. You are exposed to things that are different than your routine at home. You will get to experience other ways of life, other thoughts, or other attitudes besides your own.
Chances are, if you are a leader in a business setting, you are leading people from different backgrounds and cultures to yours. The best way to understand others, feel compassion, and find inspiration to take your team to the next level is to travel.
Not to forget traveling can also be fun. Why not have fun, be inspired and become a better leader as well.
Here is an article from Virgin that goes into more detail: www.virgin.com/entrepreneur/how-travelling-outside-your-comfort-zone-makes-you-better-leader
So, where are you off to next?
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How do you prime your brain to become more productive? Can you? Ok, that sounds weird I know, but let me explain.
What is priming? Phycology today says it's 'activating particular representations or associations in memory just before carrying out an action or task. For example, a person who sees the word "yellow" will be slightly faster to recognise the word "banana." This happens because yellow and banana are closely associated in memory.'
How can you apply priming to help you become more productive? What if I told you that priming the brain with positive thoughts before negotiating a business deal or tackling a difficult situation could lead to a better outcome for all parties involved?
When you prime your brain with positive thoughts before a difficult task or situation, you decrease the amount of cortisol and increase the amount of serotonin and dopamine secreted by your brain. This shift leads to reduced anxiety, an increase in creativity, and it makes you feel more confident.
You can practice different forms of priming from saying out loud positive affirmations, striking power poses, going for a walk, recreating an environment that made or makes you feel confident, powerful and capable and/or doing something that relaxes you like listening or watching something motivational or that makes you laugh.
So, next time you’re about to walk into an important meeting, think of a time you laughed so hard you could hardly catch your breath and say your affirmations. Prime your brain with the outcome you'd like to achieve. Chances are you will feel more confident, think clearer and the meeting will go better than expected.
When your colleagues ask you how you prepared, ask them to accompany you on a walk so you can teach them about the power of priming and positive psychology.
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]]>I shared this image of one of the MYnd Map Daily Cards on our Instagram stories and it got me thinking.
In life, we hit roadblocks, creativity blocks, life blocks, all kinds of blocks. This makes us feel stuck, frustrated and angry. We try to push through, knock down the wall or whatever it is that is blocking our path. We kick and scream because we can't move forward or go straight ahead.
If all our attempts fail we are left feeling hopeless, we may lose faith and confidence in ourselves and our abilities.
This is where Cher's quote comes in
'If you can't go straight ahead, you go around the corner'
All it may take is for us to stop, take a step back and look around. A corner could be right there for us to explore. Yes, we may never have taken that route before and yes, it may take slightly longer to get to our destination but think about all the possibilities that could lie ahead. The new lessons we could learn from this new road. Perhaps lessons we need to learn in order to prepare us for our destination.
What about all the new people we could meet and the new experiences that will help us grow.
But most importantly we do not give up and we still get to our destination even if it takes a little longer or even if our destination changes.
So, rather than giving up on our goals and dreams just because we get a block and can't go straight ahead, let's go around the corner and discover new things about ourselves.
Deal?
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A phrase that life coach Tony Robbins said stuck with me 'Emotion is created by motion'. This is the trick on how to change from a bad to a good mood instantly.
To put it simply our feelings and emotions are directly linked to the movements of our body.
Ok, let's make it practical. When next you feel really angry, put on your favorite song and dance. I challenge you to maintain your anger whilst dancing. Impossible, right?
Research suggests that by assuming a "powerful" posture, you can induce positive hormonal and behavioral changes. Psychologist William James explained it as such “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”
So, why not give it a go?
If you feel shy - Stand up tall and act friendly
If you feel sad - Smile ( even if it's a fake smile, to begin with)
If you feel a lack of confidence - Pull your shoulders back and hold your head high
If I feel irritated - Act lovingly
If you feel helpless - Act helpful
If you feel down - Make someone laugh
Yes, it won't be easy at first but it will be worth it, I promise.
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Researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles found that people could better overcome their fears by labeling and talking about them rather than trying to ignore them.
Think about it. If you ask yourself why and address the problem rather than trying to brush it under the carpet you will have more clarity. This means you will be closer to understanding the answer and eventually be able to work through it.
So, talk to your fear. Try it. Don’t feel silly. This is a great exercise to make you more self-aware and FEARLESS.
Take a seat. Get comfortable. Close your eyes. You don’t have to say it out loud, you can say it in your head if that’s easier. Think about a situation that makes you afraid, uncomfortable, unhappy or stressed (it really works for any feelings of anxiety) or something you have been avoiding to do for a while and ask yourself ‘What is making me feel like this?' and 'Why?'
The answer could be a number of things.
Once you understand why you are afraid of or have resistance towards something you are then better able to deal with it.
You may sit down and work out your finances. You could confront feelings you never knew you had. You can realise your insecurities and then build your confidence.
Take some time to talk to your fear. I tend to do this at night time when I’m feeling restless. Once I have an answer to why I am feeling anxious, sleep is never far away and I wake up ready to take on the day FEARLESSLY!
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]]>Have you ever come across a difficult situation or a question where you just don't know what to do next or what the right answer is? Maybe your judgment is clouded by emotions such as anger, fear or sadness? You might be worried about the consequences of the decision you are about to make.
Here's a trick I learned from Tony Robbins when faced with a difficult situation and unsure which decision to make or step to take.
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Have you ever come across a difficult situation or a question where you just don't know what to do next or what the right answer is? Maybe your judgment is clouded by emotions such as anger, fear or sadness? You might be worried about the consequences of the decision you are about to make.
Do you speak to a friend? Get advice from family, peers, mentors? What if after all that you still have reservations what the next best step is? Regardless of how confident we are in our judgment, we all face this dilemma from time to time.
Here's a trick I learned from Tony Robbins when faced with a difficult situation and unsure which decision to make or step to take.
Take a moment, close your eyes and breathe deeply.
Think of 3 things that you are grateful for, it can be anything from waking up today, to the delicious lunch you had. Take a minute each to really feel the gratitude from your heart.
Then in that state of gratitude, ask your heart what the right thing to do about the challenge you are facing is.
Wait, Listen and Trust.
Your heart knows the answer.
Now be brave and courageous and take the next step.
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]]>How many times have you really wanted something, dreamt about it, made plans to get it, heck, even taken actions towards getting the said thing? And then when it does happen you are utterly surprised or you feel not ready for it or you are not sure what to do with this thing you dreamed, planned and worked to get?
Well, this happened to me. In 2017 I decided to follow my dream, I worked very hard to create a product I truly believe in and I am proud of. I dreamt for it to add value to many peoples lives. All this lead to the launch of MYnd Map MY Journal online, but to my joyful surprise, my first print run sold out in just under 2 months! I was totally not ready for this. I had not looked beyond my initial goal of getting the journals on my website and reaching as many people as I could? I had no contingency plans. So, instead of celebrating my biggest achievement to the maximum, it left me somewhat stressed out.
If we set ourselves a goal or have a dream of achieving something, we must believe it will happen but equally important we must plan and prepare ourselves for when it does happen. If we don't we are very likely to self-sabotage and block ourselves. Seeing beyond our goal or wish will also help bring to the surface any limiting beliefs or thoughts that might hold us back. Thoughts such as 'if I got that pay rise, my colleagues will think I am a sellout' or 'if I go traveling my family will think that I don't care about them' or 'I really want this and work hard for it, but who am I kidding I don't deserve it'.
Now, take some time and think of the thing you really want, imagine you are about to receive or achieve it, ask yourself, who do you need to be and what do you need to put in place to fully embrace and enjoy it?
Then ask yourself, what's next?
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]]>One of the best ways to de-stress is to de-clutter. This can be hard for people sometimes. It is hard to know what to get rid of and what to keep. You will have thoughts like ‘What if I need that in the future?’ or ‘I remember getting rid of something and then a few weeks later I wished I hadn’t’. So, how is the best way to go about de-cluttering your life?
Look around your house. Find something that is out of place. Pick it up. Does this item make you happy? Does it serve you? Does it have any spiritual value? Do you really need to keep it?
If the answer to more than one of these questions is no, you do not need it then it's time to let go of the item.
There are many things you can do with these items that can make you feel great, help you de-clutter and create space for new and wonderful things to come into your life. How about giving them to a charity shop or a homeless shelter? What about giving something to a friend or family member? Or, you could even sell some things on eBay for some extra cash?
Whichever way you choose to get rid of these unwanted items, it should be a way that benefits you. Instead of losing you are automatically gaining, whether it be mentally, emotionally or physically!
Let us know how it goes, head over to our Facebook and Instagram page and share with us :-)
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]]>Struggling to set goals and feel inspired every day? Here's a simple visualisation exercise you can try right now to help you set goals that align with your purpose and feel excited about your day.
What does your perfect morning look like? Close your eyes and let your imagination run free.
What time would you wake up? Would you wake up smiling and why? What would be your first thought? How would you feel? What would you do? Who would you be with? Where would you be? What can you smell, touch, see?
Would you put on some fluffy socks and potter downstairs to make yourself a cup of tea or coffee? What would you eat? Perhaps you'd go for a walk/jog/run in the park or in nature?
Would you sit at the kitchen table as the sunlight streams in and read your favourite book? Would you write in your journal? Maybe plan out the rest of your perfect day?
Breathe.
Now open your eyes. How do you feel?
Pick something simple and easy out from that perfect morning you have just imagined, it could be a feeling, something you do or the way you do it, write it down and set a goal to do or feel it tomorrow morning.
You can learn more about the power of visualisation in my blog post 'Manifest your dream life through visualisation'
Let us know how it goes, head over to our Facebook and Instagram page and share your goals with us :-)
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