Do you wake up thinking of a past goal that you couldn't achieve? And then your mind wanders to your other unfulfilled goal of losing 5kg six months ago. Then the unstoppable snowball effect begins and you can't stop thinking of ALL the unachieved things in your life until you're just left feeling stuck and asking yourself, "Why bother at all?"
Personally, a good long cry helps to release all anger, frustration, and disappointment. But after half a box of tissue and wallowing in self-pity, it's time to snap out of it. Specifically, snapping out of this negative mental state. You ask, "But it's my mind.. how can you possibly do that?"
I recently had a Facebook Live chat with Melanie Kernodle, a mindset & success coach, who believes that the mind is always your only obstacle. She also believes that your mind is your greatest strength. You just have to realise that the only limits you have are the ones you place on yourself in your mind. Break free from those limits and create the right mindset.
So, what is mindset? In a nutshell, Melanie explains that mindset comes down to how you're thinking, viewing and feeling about your world and your life. It is all the internal dialogue that goes on inside your head. And sometimes, you are not even aware of it. It’s the things that you're so used to thinking that you don't even really notice that this is your particular mindset, by default. It is this idea of the thoughts and feelings and things that are going through your mind on a consistent basis.
You know all the mental habits that our mind forms and why we think and believe certain things? Yep, Melanie confirms, that these are all based on your mindset and your identity.
Let that seep into your mind for a moment there.
You see how crucial the right mindset is? As you can now tell, mindset is the best personal development tool. And why you ask? Because to get into the right state of mind, you first must confront your fears. You have to battle it out with your inner demon who's fond of incessant double-guessing and worrying.
So how do you develop your mindset and make it work for you?
You work on it. Work on building your resilience on a daily basis. Be able to get through what seems like failures or setbacks and move forward.
Of course, it sounds so easy on paper, but I can't stress enough that it takes effort and awareness to practice mindset work. To help you guys along, Melanie shares three main mistakes or misconceptions that people commonly face in correcting their mindset.
1. "I Only Need It When Things Go Wrong"
It's not something that's just for when things are going wrong, it's also for when things are going right. People don't focus on their minds and they're not aware of what's going on in their mind until something bad happens. People forget when everything's dandy. Try to avoid this.
In whatever situation you're in right now, realise that mindset work will help you no matter where you are in life - it's always something that's going to improve your life and help you reach whatever your goals are. The sooner you realise that and the sooner you start to implement mindset work every day, the better off you will be.
2. "Once I Achieve This, I Will Feel Happy/Successful/Fulfilled"
When it comes to goals, people get so focused on achieving that outcome or getting to that result that they want. They forget to enjoy the moment or to live their life now. And the reason you want to achieve a goal or create a change in your life is because of how you think it will make you feel. You think, "Once I do this, I will feel this, I'll feel happy, I'll feel successful. I will feel fulfilled."
But the thing is, you CAN feel any emotion that you want to feel right now. At this moment. And that's the work of mindset is realising that you don't need to have those external things to create the feelings that you're looking for in your life today. You have to think, "I will feel that way today and now."
In feeling this way, you tend to attract the things you need to help you achieve your goals. Things will begin to flow. Things will just happen naturally and feel aligned.
3. "The Fear of Failure"
Fear is the main issue when it comes to mindset. If there's something that you want to do but you're not doing it, it boils down to fear. You are more likely to think up excuses on why you can’t do it. For example, the idea of making shifts in your life. So many people don't make the shifts that they want or make a change all because of fear. They are letting their fear be bigger than what's possible.
Fear is really looking at all the negatives, all the things that could go wrong. Be bigger than your fears. Instead, focus on all the things that could go right or that could work out for you.
Look at it this way: There is no such thing as failure. It's just a learning. It's an opportunity for you to gain some new insight or knowledge about something. You can always do something else or do better next time so that you don't run into that same roadblock. People think failure is like the end-all and be-all. "If I fail, that's the end." It's really not, it's just another stepping point.
To stress the point, mindset is a daily practice. And of course, we are human: we might forget a day or two. You do not wake up and think, 'Oh, I am great, everything's great. I'm fulfilled, I'm happy." But we need to strive to always put this in the routine. It is much more better than waking up, dwelling on the negatives of your life and wasting tissue paper, don't you agree?
So whether you are just starting right now or you haven't done it for a little while or you are doing it already, just START working on the right mindset. It is the first step. Believe me, it is worth it.
To watch the whole Facebook Live chat with Melanie, be sure to join our Facebook Group